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[Sunday,
April 17th, 2005] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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music |
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spitalfield |
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hey everyone
since this journal is getting old and the name of ILuvDAveyofafi getting very childish and stupid, I have made a new livejournal. I am hoping sorrell can get a background for me but the livejournal is Capn_jazz
thanks!
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[Saturday,
April 16th, 2005] |
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mood |
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mellow |
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music |
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you know how I do:Taking back sunday |
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laalalalalalalalalala
so how is everyone?
I miss you all an awful lot
god dammit I'm thirsty
ok anyways
for the second book I'm writing please help me........thanks(:
POLL FOR MY BOOK(please choose one of the following and comment it)
1. Kill of Dahni
2. pretend to kill of Dahni but he is really mysteriously alive
3. just don't kill dahni!!! he is soooo freakin HOT!!!!
4. Make mishi ush ush run away and get eaten
5. make dahni go crazy and almost kill Seth
P.S even if you don't even know the plot or who the characters are, just choose one anyways...
love brenna
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[Saturday,
April 9th, 2005] |
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I am at sorrells house and I am watching thirteen. I hate it. It is really depressing
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| well hello chums |
[Monday,
April 4th, 2005] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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there is a ligth that never goes out:the smiths |
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I am very bored
I know I should be enjoying the rest of my spring vacation till I go back to the school of ultimate horror
there are so many things I need to deal with when I get back its digusting
1.rumor that me plus dakota are going out(ew ew ew ew ew ew ew)(ew triple)
2.try to stop that horrible automatic feeling I get in the hallway
and many more
you know what?
I'm gonna make a list, they are very fun
BRENNA'S LIST OF MOST COMFORTING SONGS TO LISTEN TO WHEN SAD AND OR DOWN(not that I am right now, just bored)
1.at your funeral
REASON: saves the day ultimatley the most comforting band to listen to. Sad lyrics hidden behind poppy beats, chris coneley's clearly teenage voice, not some altered popstars. Also I love that I really don't know anyone who likes them or has ever heard of them even if they are a slightly old band and that is a thing that is comforting for me. The song is very uplifting too though. Its kinda of a "I won't let the world trample over me cause I am important too" song. This song is the reason I decided to go out of depressed mode.
2.Lucky denver mint by Jimmy eat world
REASON: unlike jimmy's newer stuff, this song comes from their pretty old album, clarity, and is calm and soothing with a very indie feel.
3.Let it enfold you by senses fail
REASON: awsome song, very nice and jut like the it says, let you enfold yourself in it. A very good comfort rate.
4. to icarus with all sincerity by race the sun
REASON: a very sad song but very nice to listen to and eat comfort food while hearing
5.Kiss the bottle by Jawbreaker
REASON: this is like a good ol childhood teddy bear to hug. ragged but sweet and soft
6.a hole in the world by thursday
REASON: calm and soothing destruction
7. bruce waynes day off by forever in fall
REASON: very nice and deeply emo
8.In circles by sunny day real estate
REASON: just a beautiful song
9.better days by forever in fall
REASON: see # 7
10. Chalkline by strike anywhere
REASON: very rebel against the system and anti maintstream. uplifting
ok I'm done
soooo if you are ever feeling sad listen to these, they are all also very good bands
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| woa |
[Sunday,
April 3rd, 2005] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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MORRISSEY!!!!! |
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I'm having a pretty cool b-day weekend+week
currently rocking out to my best present
WHO PUT THE M IN MANCHESTER??????
MORRISSEY!!!!!!!!
god he is so stylish in a classy way
and very talented
now leave me be to dance around to first of the gang to die
oh my......
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| fractures in the facade of the time it takes to break down and rebuild |
[Friday,
April 1st, 2005] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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girls not grey:AFI |
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hey everyone
I know I haven't posted in a while sinc spring break. Its been one week and my birthday is tommorrow.
I just wanna say that I am sorry I have been so avoiding this last week. I had horrible dissapointments raining down on me for a very long time. Whe someone emailed me I either put on the away message or just didn't email back.
I'm so sorry
I was just so deppressed it was scary. I had never felt so broken as I had been last week and weekend. I wanted to run away from my own loving family adn friends and never come back. Emotionally , it has been a tiresome couple of weeks and hope that it won't happen again. I get impatient with sadness. I'm slowly but surely rebuilding myslef up again, putting cement and brick together. I building a better me I hope, one that will maybe open up and trust people more. I'm in a large healing proccess and I ask that none of you be angry with me. I love you all, I really do. I just felt what it feeled like to have no friends for a while and I despise it. I just needed to work things out.
I love you all(but not in a lesbian way (:
its my birthday tommorrow and I want people to be happy with me
so please, talk to me, I need it badly
,your recovering, but still lovable friend, Brenna
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[Sunday,
March 13th, 2005] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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music |
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paperthin hym:Anberlin |
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oh my god
I had the most amazing time
I'll never be the same again
he took me to see senses fail!
just one of the best bands out there
and quite romantic in a er sorta rockish way
we went to fat burger before, which is always yummy
when I saw him waiting for me there it was sad
but then he said this:
"Listen Bren, I know this sucks like hell, but tonight It doesn't exist, tonight I ain't moving, just for tonight lets have a fuckin good time OK?"
smartest words I have ever heard
we were the youngest ones at the concert, but everyone was so respectful of us, it was nice
the best part is yet to come
just in the middle of the show, the chords to Let It Enfold You began to chime
now let me explain something to you
Let It Enfold You is my favorite song
It is mine and davoks song
its beautiful
ok, so during the song, buddy(the singer) looks at us and winks
then he shouts "Ok now all you guys jump!!! This is the hight if your fuckin lives!!!"
and in the swirling masquarade of people leaping into the air, davok kissed me
afterwards, we hung out in the parking lot together
it got so quiet and beautiful when everyone cleared out
he put his arms around me
and you will not believe this
he started to cry
to cry....
he said that he would miss me more than anything in the world
he gave me a bracelet
and then it was done
he walked me to my door
and when I peered through the window I saw him lay something on my porch
it was a vegan cookie in a napkin
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[Sunday,
March 13th, 2005] |
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music |
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underoath:reinventing your exit |
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I'm getting ready for the concert. hmmm, what should I wear. I don't know what band it is..
I'll just go with this:
skate shoes
dark jeans
white stud belt
norma jean tee
and who could go wrong with the Underoath hoodie?
Underoath=yay
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[Saturday,
March 12th, 2005] |
I just imd davok and he says we're gonna go to a concert tommorrow
but he won't tell me who
he says its a surprise
dammit I hate surprises
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[Saturday,
March 12th, 2005] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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music |
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AFI:clove smoke catharisis(I don't think I spelled it right) |
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I should be sleeping now....
but I'm not
I have hebrew school tommorrow
damn
well back to AFI
....If only davey, Jade, Hunter, and adam were here.
they would solve all my problems
and maybe sign my guitar in the process
hmmm
black sails in the sunset?
or Art of drowning?
descisions descisions
oh Davey, why do you have to be so awsome?
Davey+Havok=Davok?
this is too wierd
Davey Havok=yay
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[Saturday,
March 12th, 2005] |
I went over to kaitlins house
I don't think I spelled that right..........
but whatever
tommorrow night is my last date with davok till he moves.
this is not happening
o AFI, won't you drown my sorrows?
naw, wait I need emo for this
taking out sunny day real estate album
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[Thursday,
March 10th, 2005] |
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everythings beautiful when you don't look down
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[Thursday,
March 10th, 2005] |
listening to the old taking back sunday album, not the crappy new one
its gorgeous
I'm sad
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[Tuesday,
March 8th, 2005] |
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oh also for the playlist, never forget piebald, and for the extra touch of hardcore, gohead and add some comeback kid and noma jean
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[Tuesday,
March 8th, 2005] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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Jawbreaker: Kiss the bottle |
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I am infull on break up deppression mode. I even have my breakup song list. I'm drinking canada dry ginger ale and eating pork buns from a dim sum chinese restuarant. Comfort. Oh god, I can't believe this is happeningI think I'm gonna cry. I am going full on, head first, old school + present-day emo. I have my senses fail album ready for blasting, Sunny day real estate, Jets to brazil, Fugazi, rites of spring, braid, the promise ring, thursday, something corporate, my chemical romance, the used, underoath, mineral, the black maria, and michelles boyfriends band, forever in fall. They are all playing.
"Kiss the Bottle"
It gets lonliest (sic) at night. Down at the liquor store. Beneath the neon sky. Our moonlight. Six a.m. the floor comes alive with lice. The pan's dried up so tight. With hardened beans. We're hungry. So I lean on you sometimes. Just to see you're still there. Your feet can't take the weight of one. Much less two. We hit concrete. How were we born into this mess? I know I painted you a prettier picture, baby. But we were run out on a rail. Fell from the wagon to the night train. I kissed the bottle. I should've been kissing you. You wake up to an empty night. With tears for two. Cigarettes they fill the gaps. In our empty days. In our broken teeth. We're jonesing. Say mister, can you spare a dime? Some change could make a change. Could buy some time. Some freedom. Or an ear to hear my story. It's all I've got. My fiction beats the hell out of my truth. A palm upturned burnt blue. Don't call it sunburn. You've been shaking on the job. Just one drink ahead of your past. There's a white light coming up. You draw the blinds hoping it'll pass.
-Jawbreaker
......anyone want a bite of pork bun?
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[Monday,
March 7th, 2005] |
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music |
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let it enfold you: Senses Fail |
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my boyfriend is moving to wisconsin......
dear god what the hell is going on
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[Sunday,
March 6th, 2005] |
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GOING ON THE WARPED TOUR WITH SORRELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[Sunday,
March 6th, 2005] |
if you touch me I might die
someones standing on my chest
I look all around to see if I’m still here
with your death, with your hands around my neck
and to see all you want in your dreams
all what was never yours, what can you do
just run as fast as your own mind makes you
as your own sorrow takes you
as your own aches bait you
away
sometimes, when I feel, the eyes they watch me
what will do us part?
and sometimes when I taste my own prodigy
so deft, so sickening
and sometimes, when I fall, I will not get back up
oblivious to things that make me so unreal
dress your own, in rags and stainless steel
this is mine, my paranoia
I sleep with one eye, the other one was cut
with your blades, theres no one I can trust
and to need all these things
my own supply, can’t feed
take your lies and go find me
come what may is the phrase I heed
nothing is my eyes in the back of my fingertips, see
I’m all I’ll ever need
sometimes, when I feel, the eyes they watch me
what will do us part?
and sometimes when I taste my own prodigy
so deft, so sickening
and sometimes, when I fall, I will not get back up
oblivious to things that make me so unreal
dress your own, in rags and stainless steel
this is mine, my paranoia
in a full of haunted housed lines
in a sparrow of death do us part bines
turning water dusting into wine
this one miracle meal, cannot dine
my paranoia, this is mine
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[Saturday,
March 5th, 2005] |
god, I am so sick of this
is there anybody in the whole freaking goddam world who doesn't just care about quote "hottt guys" and abercrombie and fitch???
PATHETIC MATERIALISTIC LOSERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
uh o I'm in rage mode, yes thats right folks, rage mode for brenna coates
you better watch out
is this all that is important to you in life stuck with parents credit cards
have you ever tasted sadness, not a boy dumping you sadness or friend bitchy sadness
as in REAL sadness?
the type that penetrates through your thick skulls and chest to your heart and mind, uncontrolable and ready to strike?
well, have you?
doesn't seems like it
I'm jealous, ya thats right jealous
I'm jealous of your plastic contentment with life
I want that
but I can't have it
I'm not normal
I'm not goth or emo or punk or anything like that
I don't know what I am
you all do
it isn't fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
damn you all!!!
I WANT WHAT YOU HAVE
somebody please help me
nobody gonna help me
they care I know
but they have their lives
so happy
they countinue to lead them
and I continue to wonder how I go this way
How did I fuck up?
what killed me?
what killed my life?
I have nothing now
the only thing I have is music
I clutch onto it with all my strength and willpower
its the only thing that keeps me here
keeps me from drifting so far away
I think I'm going to cry
I am right now
the keyboard is wet with my tears
I want to stop
what happened to me?
what has happened to brenna Coates?
the girl
what left me behind?
what happened?
run now and some might say
"We all die alone."
And I’ll never forget what killed us
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[Saturday,
March 5th, 2005] |
I'm sick and I'm twisted
don't touch me, you'll get this
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